Luna's Birthday and The Surprises of Doom
by Luna Addictus
Summary: ONESHOT. Harry wants to give Luna a birthday present, but he doesn't know what to give. Surprises of all sorts of relationships come up when he arrives at Luna's birthday. HxL. Harryxalmost everyone except HxG.


A/N: Okay, so I just got this idea from an HP forum… so yeah, disclaimers and all, I don't own HP and stuff… yeah, so there. This is post!TDH, sans the Epilogue. . BTW, this is a sort of A.R.G.H. fic, so beware, H/G shippers, this isn't the fic for you… (it's sort of a parody of H/G, so yeah, you could vomit if you want to… I can't stop laughing when I was typing the H/G part!)

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**Luna's Birthday and the Surprises of Doom**

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Autumn leaves glided peacefully on the air, swept to and away from the doorstep of Grimmauld Place. The cool dry air entered the house through the slits of the windows that gleamed brightly, as the resident house elf had finished cleaning. The decapitated and hanged heads of the previous house elves looked rather better as compared from what they looked like years ago, when the now-owner of the house had first stepped in the ancient and most noble house of the Blacks.

A soft thud-thud could be heard from the sitting room, as Harry Potter, the 'boy-who-lived', the 'Chosen One', the 'One Who Vanquished The Dark Lord' and all of the other names that was given to him after the defeat of the Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort also known as Tom Marvolo Riddle when he was still in Hogwarts, walked left and right seemingly in deep thought.

Kreacher entered the room, carrying a glistening silver tray which held a porcelain teapot and cup. He glanced up at his master and set the tray on the coffee table. "Kreacher had brought Master Harry his tea."

Harry stopped in his constant walking and acknowledged the presence of the house elf, "Thanks, Kreacher..."

"Master Harry is in deep thought?" croaked Kreacher, his bat-like ears drooping.

"I—uh—not really… just thinking…" he then looked at Kreacher with an expression that was almost pained with something, "Do you have anything else to do, Kreacher?" he asked. Kreacher shook his big head, Regulus' locket swinging over the house elf's chest. Harry had an idea, "Kreacher… you know my friend, Luna Lovegood?" the elf nodded, "Uhm… could you follow her for me? Try to know what she likes… and stuff like that."

"Kreacher will gladly do it for Master Harry!" the old elf squawked. He took a step back and with a _crack_ he disappeared from Harry's sight.

Harry felt a sweeping sensation in his stomach as he slumped on the warmth of the chair, despite the fact that the place still looked like a hide-out for Dark Wizards. His mind wandered to the mysterious younger Ravenclaw, wondering what she would like… would she like to have a bunch of roses? How about a goblin-made ring? Or Ravenclaw's diadem? What about books… wait, Hermione would love that… but Luna… he wasn't entirely sure.

Luna loved the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, even though she hadn't seen them, or at least, she still didn't know that it did not exist… aside from her mythological creatures… what _did _Luna like? He did hear her say that she loved _pudding_… but could that be a good present enough for a person who was like Luna?

Luna was anything but normal.

Despite Harry's wanting to have a normal life… he couldn't help but wonder… how was it to be Luna Lovegood? He remembered the pictures painted in the ceiling of Luna's room, and felt a tinge of pain in his heart… it might've been sad to be alone… what was it that Luna would love to have?

Harry contemplated on the thought for many times already, ever since October came, he had been already thinking about it. He had cancelled a lot of things, as he was too absorbed by the mystery that was Luna Lovegood… there was even this time that he was reprimanded by Hermione and Ron because he didn't show up in Ginny's first game in Quidditch at Hogwarts as Gryffindor Quidditch captain.

He took the cup of tea prepared by Kreacher and immediately remembered the last time that Dudley and Harry ever had a real talk. He smiled at the sudden thought.

'_I don't think you're a waste of space.'_

Something in that sentence made Harry wonder… did he think of Luna as a waste of space?

Of course not.

Harry silently remembered all the times that Luna was there for him… when he was still in his fifth year at Hogwarts, Luna was one of the first people who stood up and said she believed him… she was part of Dumbledore's Army, she was there in the Department of Mysteries, she fought hard and well, she was the only person who really understood him after Sirius' death… in his sixth year, Neville and Luna were the only former members of D.A. who had came to help when the Death Eaters had come and attacked Hogwarts. And in his seventh year, at least, if he went and came back to Hogwarts, she was one of the people who had revived the D.A., got kidnapped because of her father's outspoken allegiance with Harry Potter, and fought again in the Hogwarts grounds… he could even remember the time when he had seen her in the Malfoy Manor, her eyes, those oddly misty eyes that seemed to pierce him, he remembered when they buried Dobby, when she had said exactly what Harry wanted to say, and how she helped him cast his Patronus, one of his supposed signature spells, when he didn't have the heart and the will to do so…

He smiled without noticing when he recalled the wedding, when Luna had immediately known it was Harry despite him under the disguise of Barny Weasley because of the Polyjuice potion… just because of his _expression_. He controlled himself from laughing out loud.

There was another _crack_ and Kreacher had come back… he was now wearing what Harry thought as a large mop.

"What happened?" Harry gave him a bewildered stare. Kreacher looked up to his master and squeaked, "Master, Kreacher was seen by Miss Luna Lovegood."

"And?"

"She wanted to give you a message."

"Really?!" Harry jumped to his feet, "What did she say?"

"'_Seek and you shall find, a treasure that cannot bought, in your heart you will know.'_" sang Kreacher, obviously trying to imitate the sender's way of speaking.

Harry had just dropped his jaw on the floor. Why did she have to be as cryptic as Professor Dumbledore?! Harry slapped his forehead with his right hand after slumping on the chair. _She was driving him nuts…_

"Is Master Harry fine?" asked Kreacher. It was just now that Harry recognized the wig that the house elf was wearing. It was the odd 'duplicate' of Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem… on it was the words '_wit beyond measure is man's greatest measure'._

"You got that from Luna's house." Harry said, more of a statement than a question; the house elf nodded. "She might've mistaken you for a gernumbli… you can go now…" he trailed off as he wondered what she would want to have for her birthday.

Harry was now even more desperate, time was ticking by and Luna's seventeenth birthday party was to be celebrated at six in the evening; what, _what_ should he give her?

Darn. If he was Luna Lovegood, what would she want to have most?

'_I liked the D.A. It was like having friends…_'

'_Slughorn's party? With you, as a friend?_'

'_Oh no! I'd love to go with you to the party, as a friend! Nobody's asked me to go to a ball as a friend!_'

And he felt a tight knot in his stomach as he remembered her when he was still in his fifth year, she was alone…

'_I know there are people who call me Loony behind my back…_'

And as he closed his eyes, he could see the painted golden chain connecting his picture, Hermione's, Ron's, Neville's and Ginny's… he felt a great rush of affection for the girl… and it made him really confused…

What would Luna Lovegood want?

And then it hit him.

His eyes fluttered open. He shouted, "Of course!"

"Master Harry?" an over-large head popped from the door, looking curiously at him. "Ha ha ha…" Harry ran over his hand through his already messy hair, "Nothing… ah, wait… Kreacher, could you do another favor for me?"

"What is it, Master Harry?"

"Could you please find this guy, Dedalus Diggle? And ask him to do this—" he whispered something to Kreacher's bat-like ear. "Could you do that?"

"Of course, Master Harry!" he exclaimed, and with another _crack_, the house elf left.

He looked at the worn out wristwatch that the Weasleys had given him for his birthday… it was already thirty minutes past five. Harry swore loudly and scampered out of the sitting room and up to his new room, the room which he and Ron used when the house was still used as a base for the Order.

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It had been just a good five minutes after six; the sky was slowly turning dark orange, the sun was now slowly setting at the east…

The rock, or rather the damaged house that the Lovegoods used to live in, wasn't the place where they were going to celebrate Luna's birthday, but rather, where her mother used to live. It wasn't a big place, but it had a huge garden with all sorts of plants and, well, gnomes (or gernumblis, as Xenophilius would say); sunflowers, tulips, mistletoes, and all sorts of flowers could be found there.

Harry Potter, who was late by five minutes already, was huffing and puffing as he trudged all the way from the Lovegoods' to the Floras, found the overflowing plants rather overwhelming. He could hear Ron's loud laughs and Hermione calling on his manners.

'_They must be on the other side…_' thought Harry as he took another step nearer to the celebration. An eerie music entered his ears as he went nearer and nearer, it wasn't a horrible sound. Actually, it was rather calming and made him feel better. '_What was that?_'

"I told you didn't I?! This exquisite bird can only be found at the Orients! Very beautiful, although it is very tricky!" Xenophilius' voice traveled in the air.

"How long do you think Harry will be late?" a rather impatient voice said, "He's already fifteen minutes late! What was Mum and Dad's gift to him for?!"

"Calm down, Ginny." Another voice said, albeit it was a boy's voice, and a lot calmer than the former, "He might have his reasons."

"_What if he's going out with Cho Chang?!"_ she exclaimed. Harry felt his eyes roll. Then he spotted Luna from where he was standing, walking around the garden, an odd-looking red and yellow flower on her hand. She was wearing a long sleeved, pure white dress that fell to her knees; on her hair was a garland of miniature sunflowers on her hair and he could also see a pair of mismatched earrings.

He walked to the garden, his eyes on the young Ravenclaw. He was about to walk towards her when someone pulled him. It was Ron and Hermione.

"Harry!"

"Where have you been!"

"You're late!"

"Why didn't you send a message that you'll be late!"

"We were worried!"

Harry stared at them, both looked half-worried, half-exasperated at him, "Do you think I'd ditch Luna's birthday?"

"Yes." They both answered. Before Harry could speak, Ron had cut him off, "You dated Cho Chang when you were supposed to be in my sister's birthday party, Harry. I haven't forgotten that."

"Oh, sorry. I forgot that it was her birthday." Said Harry casually, "Besides, I didn't date Cho, it was for business purposes." He said, which was true. Ron and Hermione looked at him questioningly, apparently they didn't believe him. "I swear, it's true. You could ask Tom the barman in Leaky Cauldron. By the way… did you already give your gifts to Luna?"

"We already did, mate." Said Ron, putting his hands inside his pocket, "Ages ago."

"Well… I got to give Luna mine…" but before he could even move by an inch, he was met with _sparkling_ flaming hair that belonged to none other than Ginevra Weasley. Her hard blazing look was on her face, and those lips—

"You dated Cho Chang again didn't you!" she exclaimed, pointing her finger directly at Harry's chest. His chest monster was reborn once more, now dancing the congo dance. "Or did you date Phlegm—"

"She's already married!" exclaimed Bill, fuming at his younger sister.

"—or Katie Bell—" she continued.

"I'm dating Oliver Wood, for goodness' sake!" exclaimed Katie, then blushed heavily as everyone looked at her.

"—or Penelope Clearwater—" Harry felt there was something acidic that was tricking away in his chest, slowly extinguishing the rebred monster in his pants… er… chest.

"GINNY!" exclaimed Percy.

"—or Hermione—"

"Shut up, Gin, it's not funny." Ron frowned at his sister. Harry tried to look away… so yes, he did date Hermione a couple of times, but there was no way in hell that he was going to tell anyone, especially not Ron. He caught Hermione's eyes, and she looked away, blushing. Yep, he still couldn't tell Ron about the three dates that he and Hermione had. And he also didn't want anyone to know that one of the reasons why Ron frowned was because he and Ron too had… ah… a… 'date' too.

"—or Moaning Myrtle—"

"That's ridiculous!" the three shouted at her, "She's a ghost!"

"—or Gabrielle—"

Harry rolled his eyes. Okaayyy… this was getting… humorous already. He should stop it.

"Ginny, there's something I want you to know." Harry said, trying to take the hysterical girl to calmness.

"What? What? That you want me again?!" her bright brown eyes exploding with blazing looks at him.

"No." Ginny frowned. "I'm _bi_."

"Bi…?" Ginny stared at him.

"Bisexual." He simply said. Everyone in the garden had their jaws dropped to the ground, although Luna stared at him interestingly.

"You… you're kidding, right?" Ginny's eyes widened, as she forced a smile on her face.

"Of course he's not." a drawling voice said. It was Draco Malfoy, Harry looked at him in surprise, "Lovegood wanted me to come…" he turned to Ginny, "Didn't you know that your boyfriend… I mean, your _former_ boyfriend was obsessed with _me_ when he was dating _you_?" he said. Harry felt his self blush as Draco gave a wink at him, Luna flounced to the mini-meeting.

"Oh really? You're bi too, Harry? That's interesting!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands. "Is that your present to me? That you're going to be yourself from now on?"

"Not exactly, but almost…" he said. He turned to his small circle of schoolmates, "Guys, I have to tell you this… I'm really bi… and incestuous…" he turned to Ron, "Ron, I told you that I loved Hermione as a sister, didn't I? Well… since I'm incestuous… I dated her too, as I dated _you_." Gasps escaped from the people's lips, "I also fancied Tom Riddle, because he was so handsome, and Draco Malfoy too… because he's blonde and he's a three-dimensional character when I was in my sixth year… I also fancied Neville, we even dated a couple of times, because you know, he is made of win… and I also fancied Snape…"

A huge rock fell from the sky, missing them by some kilometers, "…because of the angst and because he loved my mother's eyes… I also fancied Cho, as obvious, I also fancied Sirius because he was like a father to me and a… lover too. Didn't you see how we embraced each other? Although I had always thought that there was something going on between Sirius and Remus—" another gasp escaped from Andromeda, and then she fainted, "—and Tonks too… and I also fancied Parvati because she had lovely hair… I also fancied Hagrid too—" he heard a sniff from the half-giant, "—and I also kind of had a thing with Professor McGonagall," Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville and everyone who knew Professor McGonagall gave him a bewildered stare, "—I've had a fling with Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan… there's also Susan Bones, and Oliver Wood—"

"Mmm… you want to have a yummy threesome, Harry?" Katie winked at him. Harry smiled.

"And there's also Lucius Malfoy, because of his amazing layered hair… and Narcissa Malfoy… so yeah… I'd also like to say that I also fancied Tonks and Remus, if you didn't know…"

Everyone gaped at him as he finished his speech, rooted to the spot. Ginny gave him a withering look and she began to bawl. She looked extremely horrible when she cries because she looks all blotchy and red, so Harry's chest monster evaporated without a trace.

"That felt good." Harry said, exhaling deeply.

"That was surprising, I thought it'll take you a hundred years before you'll admit it." Said Draco, sneering.

"Well, I had an inspiration." He smirked back. He gave an apologetic look to Ron and Hermione and Neville, however, they didn't seem to mind as they blushed heavily when they had close contact with each other.

Harry swiveled his head… where was she? She was just here moments ago… he then saw a mop of dirty-blonde hair veering to the nearest sunflower stalks. He ran to catch up to her.

"Hello, Harry Potter." She said as she touched a sunflower; she had known it was him without her even looking at him.

"Hi, Luna… happy birthday." He said, although he knew it sounded bland and all.

"That was very nice, your present I mean." She said, finally looking at him.

Green orbs met pale blue, and a smile spread on each other's lips.

"Well, I didn't bring anything today…" Harry said.

"I can see that… although… you did bring something." She replied. Harry didn't answer, he had an idea of what she was talking about, although he wasn't sure.

"I brought… myself? My body?" he said with an air of wonder. Luna laughed, "Of course not that, Harry. Think… of something you did today…" she said, they were now walking in the patches of dandelion flowers, farther away from the people, although still visible to their eyes.

It was like, being there, but not being there, if that made sense.

"I… I…" he stammered, or was it his heart that stammered? He didn't know… what was it? He felt his heart stammer even louder, he wondered if she could hear it…

"You forgot your present again." She said in a singsong voice.

Then it hit him again like a sauce pan hitting his head, as he almost forgot what it was. He smiled, "Yeah. I guess… well, I couldn't think of anything else you would want for your birthday…"

"That's sweet." She replied, they were now on the rose patches.

The sun finally succumb in the darkness, as indigo overruled the skies, the stars twinkled brightly…

"3!" a man shouted.

"What's that?" Harry looked back, it was Dedalus Diggle. He remembered what he told Kreacher to do, he really must give something to the house elf for being so reliable…

"2!"

"What is he doing?" asked Luna, "You sent for him, didn't you?" Harry flummoxed, "It's your expression, you see." Harry laughed a little.

"1!" He heard Dedalus shout. "NOW!!!!"

_SSSSSSSWWWWWWWWWWSSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!_

_BANG!_

_WWWWWWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!_

_SSSSSSSWWWWWWWIIIIIIIISHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!_

Fireworks of different colors, shapes and sizes, colored the dark skies, taking the people's attention and with Luna one of them. There were flowers, dragons and all sorts of sparkling lights on the sky…

"Luna…" he said, taking her hand. She looked back at him, and then—

Another band was heard… but there was no more louder surprise than what had happened on the patches of white and red roses that seemed to bloom out of season…

_BOOM!!!!!_

A crimson lion soared in the air, its trail of sparkling lights illuminated the heavens…

Harry kissed her on her wide forehead, "Happy birthday, Luna…"

Luna stared at him with her oddly misty eyes, quite surprised at his action. "Why?"

"I don't know." Harry said, "It just felt… right." He nodded, quite out of his mind, "Well… happy birthday…" he had expected a slap on the face after a second, but it did not come. He looked at her and found that she was almost crying… and smiling? Luna hugged him back.

"Thank you… for your friendship, presence and memories, Harry." She whispered on his ear, and immediately added, "And for the fireworks too… they're really lovely…" Harry gave her a look of surprise… it must be her hobby… Surprise Harry… a smile was present in his lips…

They sat on the ground and watched as the night sky became as brilliant and colorful as life itself (yes, I know, it's corny) with all of the fireworks, and stars alike.

And most of all…

The lone moon that shone in the sky proudly, whether it was happy and cheerful as the morning, or even under the darkness and coldness of the night…

He was lucky, that he had found one of the most special people that had ever existed in the world… and he wondered, if there was anything special in him that she will be thankful about…

"Oh, Harry, look!" she tugged him to his senses as another firework was blasted in the air…

It said…

"_Choose what is right and not what is easy…_"

"I… I don't think Dedalus…" he muttered, when they looked back. Diggle seemed to be as puzzled as they were. However, Harry sort of knew who did it… albeit, he didn't know how…

"Yeah. I'll always remember that." He said, looking at the feverish girl who seemed to really enjoy the sights before her.

Harry smiled, and he hoped, someday, that he will be able to make Luna happier… happier than she could ever be… happier than when she had finally found friends…

Sometimes, it was really nice, thinking of others than for his self.

"You know, I think Hermione is right." Luna said, still looking at the illuminated sky, now filled with ravens and roses. Harry looked at her, "You do have a saving-people-thing."

"What?"

"You—" she stopped. "I guess I'll keep that for myself." She said, hanging Harry on the air of wonder as she returned on watching the night sky.

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A/N: So how did you find it? Uhm… Insulting? Humorous? Laughable? Review now before it expires!


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